In your responses, post at least 100 words and evaluate your colleague’s paragraph and/or self‐evaluation. Do you agree with his/her responses to the questions? What else could he/she do to develop stronger body paragraphs?
Analyzing Jackson from the text the focus will be on his actions, motivation and decisions, whether his actions correspond or contradict each other.
Reading through Alexie’s (2003) story it can be said that, Jackson Jackson, the main character never seems to finish anything he starts, all the tasks and actions he performs seem to have little to no purpose. The story begins with discovering Jackson is a “homeless” Indian, he failed to complete college, married multiple times, had several children having failed to finish any one of those tasks before getting to the main portion of the story (Alexie, 2003, paragraph 1 and 2). At this point in the story he claims insanity although it cannot be said for sure if it is laziness or a lack of motivation that leads to the stories outcome. Looking further into the story at the actions performed there is a moment when it can almost be believed Jackson has found motivation despite his drunkenness, and apparent disregard for changing his circumstances. At one point Jackson sees what he believes to be his grandmother’s “powwow regalia” in a pawnshop and vows to get the money and purchase it back (Alexie, 200, paragraph 6). In the end he was unable to come up with the money, spending what little he made only to return to the pawn shop with a five-dollar bill with which he started out with the day before. Reaffirming the belief that Jackson Jackson is unable to accomplish his goals and lacks motivation. Looking at Jackson Jackson’s character we can see a few main points that lead to the belief that he does not possess motivational factors.
Within the topic sentence I refer back to the thesis statement mentioning I will be talking about the tasks and actions of Jackson. I believe it is rather clear as it is within the first sentence plainly explaining what the paragraph will be about in its entirety.
I used certain terms used by Alexie within the story to add substance and prove the facts I was using to describe Jackson’s actions to be true. I also paraphrased his list of past actions to prove my standpoint on at least one aspect of his personality. I believe I made these clear enough for anyone to understand, I closed each sentence to the best of my ability without many, if any, unclear terms.
All the information used within the paragraph was relevant to displaying actions performed by Jackson or to tie the paragraph together with the introduction and other body paragraphs. I believe the topic sentence is thoroughly supported hopefully with no need to add or remove information.
I believe my biggest challenge was word choice, and the decision on which quotes to use. If anything were to change it would possibly be the quotes used or possibly a few added to clarify anything I find to be confusing at a later time.
Working thesis- Struggling with alcoholism and homelessness, Jackson Jackson is a thoughtful and generous soul.
A prideful Spokane Indian, Jackson struggles with homelessness and alcoholism. Jackson’s day starts at noon, where him and his “posse,” raise five dollars and head to the nearest gas station. On the way to the 7-eleven, Jackson notices his grandmother’s regalia in a pawnshop window. Eager to win his grandmother’s property back, he sets off to raise nine-hundred and ninety-nine dollars, (Alexie, 2003, para 46). Struggling with alcoholism, Jackson goes straight to the gas station and spends the first earned money on alcohol. By 1 pm, he and his friends were drunk on “bottles of imagination,” (Alexie, 2003, para 47). While, Jackson still has morals and pride for his heritage, the need for alcohol overpowers him. It would be apparent that any money that comes across Jackson’s hands is immediately spent on alcohol. However, Jackson is not selfish or greedy. When he wins one hundred dollars on a lottery ticket, he shares twenty with the store clerk. Mary, the clerk, wanted to refuse, but Jackson said “No, it’s tribal. It’s an Indian thing. When you win, you’re supposed to share with your family”, (Alexie, 2003, para 139). Even though Jackson is a homeless alcoholic, he still believes in the morals and beliefs of his proud heritage.
The connection between the topic sentence and my thesis is that it explains the conflict the character is having. I believe I can work on my topic sentence to add more detail and transitioning into the body paragraph.
The reference material supports my thesis because it proves that the character is struggling with alcoholism. The other references support that Jackson is more than just an alcoholic, he has morals and is a caring person.
I believe that the information in my paragraph is necessary for my paper. However I need to work on my organization throughout the paper.
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